Thoughts about Fatherhood

Our international church has been studying through the book of Hebrews this year and it just so happened the text for this Sunday, Father's Day, is Hebrews 12:3-11 which talks about the Father's Discipline.

Fatherhood is a weighty subject and a job that is incredibly important. Often the way someone interacts with their earthly father is the way they will initially understand and interact with God the Father.

Not only that, fathers come to be fathers in all sorts of ways. The normal way a man becomes a father is within the context of a healthy marriage. But we also have men who are fathers outside of marriage. Men who become fathers through blended families, adoption, and even men who take young people under their wings and act as a father in every way that matters. Fatherhood is a complex and beautiful calling.

As I prepared the message for this Sunday it got me thinking a lot about the job, responsibility, and privilege that God has given to many of us, as fathers. It's something I struggle to do well, fail at constantly, and yet it is one of the greatest sources of joy and fulfillment in my life. Below are 7 truths that God put on my heart to share with the church this morning. I pray it is a blessing to you as well.

7 Truths About Fatherhood

Fact #1 – We are dads.  This will never change. Not when our children leave the home. Not when they go to college. Not even when they start their own families.  There will never be a time in our lives where we cease to have both the privilege and the responsibility of being a father. Being a father, a dad, to the children God has given us - is one of the central facts of our existence. 

Fact #2 – The home is the single most important influence for our families. We can delegate a lot of responsibilities to others. We can pass off jobs, ministry responsibilities, and a myriad of other responsibility to others. But the one thing we cannot delegate to others is the responsibilities attached to being a father in a home. It is in the home – with the family – the greatest influence is given to our children. So we must shepherd that time well.   

Fact #3 - Because of it’s inherent importance and dignity – fathering is the most important role we will ever be given.  It breaks my heart when I watch shows and movies and see the way dads are portrayed.  Men who are barely around, working at a job that takes priority over everything else. Or if they are there, they are men without substance. Without morals and values or a backbone in their body. This is the way the role of fatherhood is portrayed in the world today.   

Yet the reality of a father in a home is one of great honor and privilege. Children have been put in your care by God to guide, protect, nurture, and raise them up to be equipped to engage the world around them in Christ-exalting ways. There is no greater role we will ever play in life, than father.  Nothing should hold a higher priority to us than that of being a father.

Fact #4 – Being a parent is one of the greatest sources of joy we can ever know.

Fact #5 – We can ALL improve on what we are doing. I’ve failed more times than I can count, and probably so have you. We don’t have this all figured out, but we’ll never stop trying to be better for them.

Fact #6 – Everyone is unique, our children and so are we. Therefore, we must be willing to learn from one another. That’s hard, especially as they grow older and our relationship with them changes, but we need to have a posture of being willing to learn about them and from them, for the rest of our lives. 

Fact #7 – It is REALLY difficult to be a good parent. There’s no magic formulas, no cheat codes. TIME and EFFORT coupled with humility and grace, is what it takes to parent a child well. There is no substitute for that. We will fail at times. And yet it is the consistent effort and time poured into their lives that will reap the greatest benefits for their stability and growth.

Final thoughts:

Fathers are essential to the family. Where there are absent or unengaged fathers – there is a breakdown in the family. And when the family breaks down – so does the community. 

Lyndon B Johnson (36th President of the US) in 1963 said, “The family is the cornerstone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitudes, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of a child. And when the family collapses it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale the community itself is crippled.” 

Men, (whether you have children by blood or by choice) God has given us a great responsibility and a great privilege. Our aim is not to be our children’s best friends (though we want friendship with them, our responsibility is much greater than that). We are their guides, their protectors, their counselors, their greatest champions. We want something FAR greater than friendship for our children. We have been called to raise these little defenseless ones to become impactful, capable adults who have the ability to find their way AND stand with confidence in a dark and sinful world.

Being a good father is hard… but there is no greater responsibility or privilege that we have been given.

To God be the glory!